That Yankee fan I hate ...a blog at the speed of pod.

Giuliani, Rudy - right field, moved from center w/"Reagan Democrats." (The term that makes no sense 'cept Reagan used to Dem it too, & he never made sense, told America to "stop making sense"...so it makes sense in a non-sense way.)

bats: right

throws: right

dresses: right (Traditionally, when a gentleman is fitted for suit trousers, the tailor asks said gentleman 'on what side to do you dress sir?' This is the genteel way to ask a gentleman if his Douglass Fairbanks favors one pant leg more than the other. Rudy tells the tailor to 'add more fabric' to the right pant leg to accommodate 'It' - 'It' being called an 'It' because Rudy is not genteel enough to refer to 'It' as a Douglass Fairbanks. It being something that doesn't actually require more fabric to prove itself right. 'It' is the idea that he would demand more fabric for something that isn't there.)

The guy is a menace. I don't mean to sound exactly like the guy I think is a menace but that guy is a menace. Maybe worse.

It's hard enough for lefty me (who bats right, throws right, dresses however it hangs today) to root, root, root for the Yankees; friend G-maux calls them the New York Hegemony's - and he's right.

And such has it always been: the price of rooting for a team that almost always plays the right way is that they always put 'a good product out on the field.' It used to be like rooting for US Steel. Now it's like pulling for US foreign policy.

Maybe those have always been one and the same?

But I'm seeing an increasingly thuggish fan base that reflects the increasingly thuggish/entitled team America attitude.

Image: bald, neck-less pigheaded guys with the beady eyes wearing Yankee warm-up blue-shirts (Clemens on back) barely covering Miller-lite guts that overflow the Ram Charger with extra payload careening down the hill from the Grand Concourse; a truckload of Bernie Keriks making the noise of the brown-shirts who once overstuffed Folksvagen flatbeds heading for windows to break, books to burn: 'Get the fuhck-outa-hehr, we're from Staten Island and we luv the Yang-kees (clapclapclap) Yang-kees (clapclapclap)!'

Foam Yankee mini-bats hang from rear view mirrors. Foam Yankee cooler sleeves keep lite-lager chill. Foam Yankee number one fingers raise high to Yankee heaven. Lots of foam. Non-biodegradable foam. Foahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhm!

Not to foam on Kerik too much. Tough background. And you gotta get your pig-knuckles dirty if you want to take the stage in front of brand new precinct houses on SI.

But the Bern-ing issue (sorry) is the way Rudy used the guy, knew the guy took short-cuts, knew when to cut him out, cut him off at the knees, cut him out of the history books (my obsession of late, this erasure of history, the pave-over of the balanced view).

Rudy: 'Hey Bernie, when we do the photo-op walk through the cloud of 9-11, hang back? Maybe cover your face with a dust-mask. For your safety Bernie. Don't worry Bernie, I'll take care of you, always take care of you and who you are and... who are you again?

...and/or...

Rudy: 'Yes Brit (Hume), Mr. Kerik did a good job; I took the poor kid in because he's hardscrabble and what are you implying Brit, that the Mayor of America has ties to the ties to the ties? This sounds anti-Italian, anti-Dimaggio, anti- Rizzutto, anti-Pagliarulo, anti-Tino (even though he's Cubano); anti-Catholic, anti-religion, you anti-American! Take it back! Or. I'll. Make. It. Go. Back. Up. In. To. Your. Atheistic. Paganistic. Pinko. Liberal. Heahhhhhhhd. (In your pie-hole!) !'

All said with shining bald pate increasingly leaning forward, blood of Christ pouring from his eye-sockets, nose, ears, Dead/Red Sea mouth frothing, voice lowering to thickened, Satanic, burping 1-800- late-night advertorial octave. (Not that I have any idea what I mean by that.)

Put it this way. I agree with George McGovern: W. Bush is the worst president ever (WPE as they say in the beltway). He's a lower case g is for jr. The f-george who's just wrong. Wrong answer. About everything. Doesn't know from outside the circle of mediocre but rich. All the wrong crony/criminal-hires with bad ideas to make it badder (said in the faux-cowboy lingua franca).

But W is only a spokesmodel for the corp-fascisto matrix.

If I'm ever interrogated for having the wrong not right ideas, I won't see W in the room applying electrodes to the places that hurt most. Maybe Dicky C. would stop by to lear. Rummy to squint. Gonzales to transcribe my screams. Scalia to write the yea opinion from behind the mirror/glass.

But I'll definitely see Rudy at Hotel Guantanamo.

Dressed in SS-black. Big epaulets. Jodhpurs. Nazi monocle.

Shirtless Bernie by his side, wearing a hood that doesn't hide his identity very well; Kerik's fingers will flip the switch on the AC-Delco Diehard electrode power source. (I've got my tastes, admit to kinks, but this is not my scene mahhhn.)

And G-Rudy will say I asked for it.

Not to froth again too much on the shores of the Staten Island landfill.

Except yes let's do.
One more time.

Pause. Big breath.

If NYC had just let SI secede from the union, let Jersey take what's rightfully/ideologically theirs, then David (Dinkens) would have slayed Goliath (Rudy) again, and Giuliani would not have written the City History chapter that says "Mayor Dinkins was a well-meaning liberal machine politician from the 'shady' side of town who would not hire enough cops, fill enough potholes and kick enough homeless squeegy guys off the streets and into already over-capacity shelters to get this city moving yes-yes for big business (to make Soho a shoe fetish theme park that moves all the liberals to Park Slope) ."

The truth-ironies?:

1. Dinkens hired the cops Rudy took credit for.
2. Dinkens was in charge when cleaned-up trains ran on schedule for the first time since LaGuardia was hizzoner.

If New York had 4 boroughs not 5, Rudy's ascent would have ended in court (when he was the AG).

Maybe he'd still be in play as a Bush appointee.
Maybe not: Rudy was always more Ronnie than W. And W hates anything NYC.

Last licks: Dinkins put a Yankee cap on Nelson Mandella's head long before Rudy put one on his own head 24/7 to consolidate the Staten Island Yankee/Ram Charger vote.

We used to say: Free Nelson Mandella.
Now we say: Jail Rudy & Judi(th).

For Estephan Page, Gmaux and Buzz (who said 'don't be so correct').

And Staten Island; not all bad. That ferry ride to the minor league park with the Hudson River just beyond the outfield wall is pretty sweet. The fans family-civilized...able to police themselves without Bernie.